Do you talk to yourself? If so, you're in the company of the majority of people worldwide who engage in internal and, at times, external dialogues with themselves. Talking to oneself is a universal human experience, often occurring involuntarily or as a means of processing thoughts and emotions.
If the conversations you're having with yourself are positive and encouraging, you are actively contributing to uplifting your mood and fostering self-love. If your self-talk is negative in nature, don't worry you're not alone and this blog is for you.

I invite you to explore the profound impact of displays of self-love on mood enhancement, anxiety reduction, and the ability to ground oneself in the present moment.

The Psychology of Self-Talk

Let's explore the captivating dimensions of self-talk and its pivotal role in fostering self-love. This entails addressing oneself in a supportive and compassionate manner, akin to how one might converse with a trusted friend or mentor.

Psychological studies have delved into the intricacies of self-talk, revealing its profound influence on our mental state. A particularly intriguing discovery, highlighted by Kross et al. in 2014, underscores that adopting a third-person perspective--using one's name or third-person pronouns like "he," "she," or "they"--can cultivate a more objective and less emotionally charged introspective viewpoint.

In a world where negativity often prevails, it becomes crucial to acknowledge the profound effects of self-encouragement. Consider the empowering experience of hearing your name followed by words of encouragement. While external affirmations are valuable, recognizing our capacity to provide positive reinforcement for ourselves becomes equally essential. This allows us to put down the reliability and expectation on others to build us up. We can do it for ourselves!

Enhancing Introspection and Mood

The potency of third-person self-talk lies in its capacity to create distance from the immediate emotional context. Confronted with a challenging situation, addressing oneself as an outsider might involve stating, "John is feeling stressed, but he can handle this." This subtle linguistic shift fosters a sense of detachment, enabling a more balanced and constructive perspective.

Studies have shown that individuals who consistently engage in third-person self-talk experience lower anxiety levels and an improved mood compared to those who predominantly use first-person language (Kross et al., 2014). This technique harmonizes with the principles of self-love by nurturing a supportive and encouraging inner dialogue.

Scenario 1: Work Challenges

Alex, a dedicated professional, encounters a daunting project at work. Instead of succumbing to feelings of inadequacy, Alex adopts a positive self-talk approach.

"Alex, you've faced challenges before, and you have the skills to handle this. Take it one step at a time," he reassures himself.

By addressing himself by name and emphasizing past successes, Alex builds confidence, successfully navigating the complexities of the project with resilience and determination.

Scenario 2: Personal Setbacks

Sam, a college student, experiences a setback in her academic journey. Instead of dwelling on self-blame, Sam chooses a self-compassionate approach.

"Sam, everyone makes mistakes. What can you learn from this? You're still growing and improving," she reminds herself.

By reframing the situation and focusing on personal growth, Sam transforms the setback into an opportunity for learning and development, fostering a positive mindset.

Scenario 3: Daily Affirmations

Taylor, a busy professional juggling various responsibilities, practices daily affirmations to maintain a positive outlook. Instead of succumbing to self-doubt, Taylor engages in self-empowering talk.

"Taylor is capable and strong. They’ve overcome obstacles before, and they can do it again," they declare.

By using their name, talking in the third person, and emphasizing their strengths, Taylor cultivates a resilient mindset, setting the tone for a day filled with confidence and self-assurance.

In the realm of self-love, the conversations we have with ourselves hold immense power. Harnessing the technique of talking to oneself, particularly in the third person, can be a transformative practice for enhancing introspection, reducing anxiety, and elevating mood. By embracing this active form of self-love, individuals can cultivate a more compassionate and supportive relationship with themselves, fostering a resilient and positive mindset for navigating life's challenges. So go ahead, engage in those uplifting conversations with yourself, you might be surprised at the transformative impact they can have on your well-being.


Kross, Bruehlman-Senecal, Park, Burson, Dougherty, Shablack , Bremer, & Moser. (2014). Self-Talk as a Regulatory Mechanism: How You Do It Matters. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 106(2), 304–324.